Voluntary Molestation.

Yesterday, I was late for work, which means that I had to cab it in order to get there on time....So I stick two fingers in the cold Korean air and wait as cabbie after cabbie slow towards me then drive off when they see my face. It such a pain getting a cab here sometimes...I wouldn't call them racist yet...but there is just an overall fear of anything non-white or Korean. (meaning me...)
Anyways, I managed to get a cab driver to stop and I got in quickly before he decides to change his mind. When I get in, the dude was just staring at me...I told him where I needed to go and he continued to stare at me...I look in his eyes and he looks a little drunk...(not the first time I put my life in the hands of a drunk cab driver btw...)We set out for my destination and he tells me Happy New Year, in Korean. (Which happens to be one of the few phrases I can say and understand) He asks me if I am American and I say yes, I dunno why, I usually do not claim America when I am abroad...too much animosity and ill feelings.

Now the part where I get molested is as follows. As we are driving he grabs my leg and moves up and down my thigh feeling my muscles. At the first touch, the dude got wide-eyed and said "YOU SO BIGGG!!!!," in a sloppy drunken Korean drawl. Then he started grabbing my arms and feeling my muscles and reiterated his previous thought.

Now if I was in the States I would react a little differently to being touched like that but in Korea I have noticed that many of the men do not have the same personal bubbles of comfort when it comes to man to man touching like in the States. I could think of a number of my friends who would be quick to label me gay and the driver definitely gay, but because of the way things are here, I hesitated to try and put a label on him.

The men here form personal relationships amongst each other a bit more quickly and more intimatly then the friendships in the States. Touching each other, holding hands, etc, is not abnormal to see and it doesn't represent anything other than their friendship. So, as the guy was touching me, the one thing going through my head was, why was he touching me when we are not even friends...?

When we got to my job, I gave him the money and got out the cab quickly, ass first, just to avoid any further....curiosities. I called a Korean friend of mine who speaks impeccable English and told him about what just happened just to gain a bit of perspective. I confess I am not 100% on Korean culture and what is acceptable and what isn't.

"Are you gay?" was his immediate response. He told me that, yes, Korean friends get close and may be more accepting of touching but cab drivers shouldn't touch you! He said upon the first grab I should've called the complaint line and reported him. I felt like a dumb. I let a man molest me just so I wouldn't infringe on any cultural boundaries and offend him. So much for being culturally aware...

Now just to clear up any confusion he ONLY touched my thigh and my arm, my naughty bits went un-fondled and as stated earlier I got out the cab ASS-first, avoiding any good bye ass smacks...

This is an example of how after being here for 5 months I am still making mistakes in understanding Koreans and their ways....Its frustrating sometimes but it's still very interesting to keep learning.