Just an Update...

im still fat...

:)

I threw a woman. Kinda.

One of my main goals when I started Swing Dancing is to throw a woman.

I wanted to throw her in the air and catch her. If it wasn't for my knees giving out, I would be throwing women all the time but the process has been slow. I have tried to be careful. Recently, I attended a workshop in Korea for swing dancing that was being conducted my world class swing dancers. Baltimore's own Nina Gilkenson and Micheal Faltesek. They are both incredible dancers! Very fun to watch and great teachers!

One of their workshops they taught this move where we hoisted a woman using our hips and guide her back down. I prefer to just say I threw a woman! I hope to have video soon! (Knee Willing....)


The picture is of me and one of my favorite dancers Eimer, she awesome but too good of a dancer for me. (I am still a beginner...) We had a great time, though. This was taken at the workshop during the social dance time!

I'm so fat here.

Most of the people that have known me for the last 3 or 4 years are well aware of the problems with my right knee. And have commented on it. And have ALL suggested I go to the doctor. Suggestions that largely went ignored because I am terrified of doctors and I thought I could control myself enough on the basketball court to avoid serious injury.

Well, I failed.

Last week, I went to a new court at Korea University and met some real nice ballers. One guy from Finland, who clicked me with from the first second I met him. Anyways, one hour into the game I went up for a rebound and my left knee made a crushing sound and I collapsed to the ground in pain.
I knew something happened, something bad, but I could still walk albeit PAINFULLY!!! I limped all the way to the street and hailed a taxi. Once inside the cab, I realized that I had planned to take the subway home and did not bring enough money for the fare...I had to have him stop as far as the money I had would take me.
Which was 2 miles from my home.

This walk was the most painful experience in my life. I ALMOST CRIED. When I got back home, I called my doctor friend and i told her what happened, she suggested I just elevate and heat my knee and then go to the hospital the next day.

I called my Korean friend up, Leo and he took me to the hospital. The Doc there said I need an MRI but the hospital couldn't authorize one unless I had a referral from a family doctor. Which I do not have.
We went to a few hospital to see if we could talk or way into an MRI but we failed. My friend decided to take me to his family doc and make a plea for me to get a referral. The doc hesitated but he saw me cringing in pain and handed me the paper. Then we went back to the first hospital and they told me I would have to wait for a couple days because they are booked up.
Forget THAT!
I was in way too much pain, I wanted to know what was wrong. Leo took me to a different doctors office where they have an MRI machine and we had it done there for $270. Cheap for the states but considering I do not have insurance here, so it was expensive by Korean standards.

Then back to the hospital we went and the DOC (he didn't seem like he did anything, he was in the same chair every time we came back to him...) told me the surgery was going to cost me 2G's and thats not including hospital stay and medication, which would add up to another 2G's.

For all the pain I was in, I still said no. I called my boss and told her I was seriously injured and could barely walk and she told me:

"I'll call you back in 15 minutes"

and hung up the phone.

....

I waited for 30 minutes waiting for her to call me back, then she made contact. She told me she knows of a place where I could get a surgery for cheap and its her friend. I have surgery scheduled for the next day and I would have to get up early because it is pretty far. She would be driving.

It took a moment for me to take everything in, I hate doctors and now I am getting surgery, in Korea, TOMORROW?!?!

Needless to say I was nervous.

I find myself in her friend office the next day and he told me that what happened to my left knee was a bone broke off and lodged itself somewhere else in my knee causing the pain. He said it is a simple surgery and I can walk the next day and should be fully mobile within the 6 months.

The doc sent me to the nurses to be prepped for surgery following our meeting. The nurses(who are hilarious btw) had a brief gasp and immediately starting talking amongst themselves and pointing at me. I asked my boss to translate and she told, they are worried that they do not have any clothes to fit you...

They brought me the biggest button down shirt they had. Which is a medium by AMerican standards...I was able to button it down all the way but the buttons where hanging on for dear life. You could see my bare chest in between each button. What made it worse is that they placed these heart monitors on my chest but they needed to stick to your chest work but my chest was too hairy. They shaved patches off my chest hair and then placed the heart monitors on me. So when i was wearing this extremely small shirt, the exposed portions provided a window into my patched chesthair. Everyone was laughing...

Next it was the pants. First thing they gave me were wool (?) pants. These pants were so small but they made it too my waist. I could not bend my legs. I walked like peg-legged pirate. Nurses had a laugh and then brought me another pair of pants. These pants had strings going down the side of them and just needed to be tied...BUT the strings could barely tie around me...It was so embarrassing...worse yet I HAVE LOST WEIGHT BEING HERE!!! This hospital visit def hurt my self-esteem.

The surgery proceeded normally, the numbed my lower half of my body and gave me drugs to make me relax. It didn't work.

One of the scariest things I have ever experienced is being on strapped to the surgical table surrounded by different looking people, holding surgical tools meant to cut me open, all whilst not speaking English. I was terrified. My nervousness could not be suppressed, I talk a lot when I am nervous coupled with the fact that I was drugged made it real difficult for me to shut-up. My boss asked (who stayed in the surgery with me) told me I asked a million questions and aggravated everyone.

BUT I WAS NERVOUS!!

whatever...

the surgery was a success and I remember clearly what happened afterwards...

The 'orderlies' came to take me from the surgical table to my room. They had to transfer my half nummb body from the surgical table to the gurney.

Now, I would assume that based on my "enormous" size they would have the strongest people shuffle me to my room but that is not what happened.

They had two Korean guys, both the equivalent size of 13 year old girls back home, and a Korean woman, the size of a rollerskating wheel, attempt to lift my big ass from the table to the gurney. Two guys one the right and left and the little woman holding my feet.

Needless to say, I was dropped.

The guy helping my left side could not keep me up and he dropped my left leg down and if it wasn't for the girls proximity to the ground, my knee could have hit the floor. I held on to the other guy so as to avoid my whole self from hitting the floor...
Nothing happened to my knee though, at least that I am aware of...it was numb after all.

I spent the next 5 days in the hospital doing nothing. Bored. This christian group came in the hospital to pray for one of their friends who shared the room with me and one of them asked me if I have found Jesus in perfect English! I jokingly replied, "that I did not know he was missing" but he did not take it so lightly....

He then asked if I am christian and I said 'no, Muslim.' He responded by turning his back on me and continue praying for his friend... I was not hurt at all, I have met many people like this and it is actually one of the better negative responses I have received over the years.


Its my the morning of the last day at the hospital and I rudely awakened by a screaming Korean lady, who couldn't have been less than 50 years old. I did not know what she was screaming about but I know she was accusing me of something because of the finger pointing and tone. Nurses come in and they start yelling at her but I dont know what they were saying. I called one of my Korean friends to translate what was going on and here is what happened.

The screaming lady was accusing me of stealing her husbands wallet (he shared the room with me as well but never spent the night....) and she was pressing me to open my bags and let her search through my stuff.
The nurses were fighting for me saying that I had done nothing and that I haven't bothered a single person the entire time I was in the Hospital and she was to stop yelling in front of the patients.
Her cowardly husband even tried to speak on my behalf but was silenced with a bat of the crazy ladies eye. (That was really funny to see in person by the way)

The police were called and they came to speak with me. They asked me if I stole it and I said no. Then they left me be and took the batty lady away as well as her sorry excuse for man husband.

My friends arrived an hour later and I was whisked away back home to sit in my room and think about what the hell I just went through. The one thing that was really in the forefront of my mind was:

'I'm so fat here...'

I miss home...

Korean Line Dancing.

It's rare that I do something in my life that I'm embarrassed by, I usually choose to embarrass those around me. In fact, I used to claim that there will never be anything found on the internet that I am neither ashamed of or embarrassed by but now those words are empty.

I have had this video for 3 months showing it to a few people here and there but largely keeping it hidden, for fear of possibly doing a disservice to my carefully constructed reputation...

However, I am ready to show the world my idiocy. The video below is of me ATTEMPTING Korean Line Dancing.

Korean Line Dancing is very similar to the choreographed dancing one would see on a boy band video or various other pop music videos. All the dancers stand next to each other, usually facing the DJ, and begin to go through a practiced choreographed routine. This is done in some clubs when specific songs come on. At my particular bar they make time for Korean Line Dancing every night. For an example of Korean Line Dancing click here.

Before I decided to do it I watched them perform there routines and I can honestly say that I thought it was stupid. I even swore to my swing dancing partner that I would never ever do that. But like my father told me many years ago, never say never...

I was committed to coming to one session a few months ago by a few Korean girls (It's really hard saying no to pretty smiling faces...) and they promised that they would not laugh and that there will be no recording or anything. (obviously a lie...)

When I got to class I was the only guy there and the only foreigner there as well. The other 8 or 9 dancers there were all experienced Korean Line Dancers and I could see it in the face they were eagerly to watch how horrible I would be...

It was sooo hard...because they were all experienced they did not need to spend so much time learning all the steps, I was always 2 steps behind...
An hour and a half later it was time for our final performance. My instructor pulled out a camera and started to station the camera so he could film the entire class but curiously enough...the camera was fixed on me....I asked him politely to not record this and he said it will not be shown to anyone and that it is only for the class so they can practice at home....in retrospect I shouldn't have but I believed him...

The next day I went back to the same club this time for Swing Dancing practice but I got there a bit late...

When I got there I saw my swing dance partner and my instructor hovering around a computer laughing...at this point I had forgotten all about my Korean Line Dancing night and was horrified to find that my video was the object of their amusement.

My instructor posted it on the Ringopop Bar website, for all Koreans to see. Amidst all the Korean gibberish on the website one word was in English and that was "OMAR" accompanied with an exclamation point...

My initial feelings were of horror, everyone who frequents this club would see me dance...poorly. Then I was angry because I realized I was lied too...then I asked my instructor to take it off but he told me "no, because only members of the club site would be able to see it."

Another lie.

I found it the next day with minimal effort and I could access the video without being a member of the website.

Since that point, I asked him to send me a copy of the website and I have been deciding whether or not to show my friends...

Today is the day.

Here you are:

Swinging

Among the numerous activities I have decided to jump into since coming here, one in particular has grabbed a hold of me. It makes me feel the same way I felt when I made my first jump shot and played my first Squash game.

Swing Dancing.

2 times a week every week I trek an hour to swing dance. The lessons are held at a relatively new Swing bar called Ringopop bar The dance instructor knows little English but is very helpful and very patient. The language barrier was never really an issue. Dancing is itself it's own language and all you need to do is allow yourself to understand it. It's not impossible and not nearly as hard as French was and is for me.

The beginning level class was called Jitterbug Swing. My first class was probably the most difficult one. It was my first dance class ever and I came late and I missed the previous class. I was really really behind and I could tell that the women there were getting annoyed at my inadequacies. I felt like crap and after the break I said to myself I would never do this again.

Now, during each dance class the men rotate through each female partner until everyone has danced with everyone. This helps us get used to each other and also allows us to adjust to everyone's different dancing styles. In my case it also meant that I would irritate every woman in the class one by one for the whole evening.

Until I met the one who made this experience an Experience. She is an American woman from Philly, a professional Salsa dancer and a fellow English teacher. Her words of wisdom were as follows:

"Just channel Chris Brown..."

Now, those that know me, know that I absolutely hate Chris Brown. This hatred comes WAY before he beat Rhianna with an Umbrella--L-uh--L-uh--L-uh---aye. I don't like him because of his silly music videos, especially the first one he made...

But, it worked. After her words of "wisdom" I started to emulate Chris Brown. I am embarrassed to say that Chris Brown is my inspiration but it's truth. Because of him I am now a decent Swing Dancer....this is my confession. Sorry Jesus.

Fast Forward 2 months later and I have graduated from the intro Jitterbug Swing dancing class and I have an excellent partner. We both have the same drive for perfection and success. The video below is of our final graduation performance. We practiced really hard for it albeit last minute but I think it turned out alright...


Enjoy!!

Voluntary Molestation.

Yesterday, I was late for work, which means that I had to cab it in order to get there on time....So I stick two fingers in the cold Korean air and wait as cabbie after cabbie slow towards me then drive off when they see my face. It such a pain getting a cab here sometimes...I wouldn't call them racist yet...but there is just an overall fear of anything non-white or Korean. (meaning me...)
Anyways, I managed to get a cab driver to stop and I got in quickly before he decides to change his mind. When I get in, the dude was just staring at me...I told him where I needed to go and he continued to stare at me...I look in his eyes and he looks a little drunk...(not the first time I put my life in the hands of a drunk cab driver btw...)We set out for my destination and he tells me Happy New Year, in Korean. (Which happens to be one of the few phrases I can say and understand) He asks me if I am American and I say yes, I dunno why, I usually do not claim America when I am abroad...too much animosity and ill feelings.

Now the part where I get molested is as follows. As we are driving he grabs my leg and moves up and down my thigh feeling my muscles. At the first touch, the dude got wide-eyed and said "YOU SO BIGGG!!!!," in a sloppy drunken Korean drawl. Then he started grabbing my arms and feeling my muscles and reiterated his previous thought.

Now if I was in the States I would react a little differently to being touched like that but in Korea I have noticed that many of the men do not have the same personal bubbles of comfort when it comes to man to man touching like in the States. I could think of a number of my friends who would be quick to label me gay and the driver definitely gay, but because of the way things are here, I hesitated to try and put a label on him.

The men here form personal relationships amongst each other a bit more quickly and more intimatly then the friendships in the States. Touching each other, holding hands, etc, is not abnormal to see and it doesn't represent anything other than their friendship. So, as the guy was touching me, the one thing going through my head was, why was he touching me when we are not even friends...?

When we got to my job, I gave him the money and got out the cab quickly, ass first, just to avoid any further....curiosities. I called a Korean friend of mine who speaks impeccable English and told him about what just happened just to gain a bit of perspective. I confess I am not 100% on Korean culture and what is acceptable and what isn't.

"Are you gay?" was his immediate response. He told me that, yes, Korean friends get close and may be more accepting of touching but cab drivers shouldn't touch you! He said upon the first grab I should've called the complaint line and reported him. I felt like a dumb. I let a man molest me just so I wouldn't infringe on any cultural boundaries and offend him. So much for being culturally aware...

Now just to clear up any confusion he ONLY touched my thigh and my arm, my naughty bits went un-fondled and as stated earlier I got out the cab ASS-first, avoiding any good bye ass smacks...

This is an example of how after being here for 5 months I am still making mistakes in understanding Koreans and their ways....Its frustrating sometimes but it's still very interesting to keep learning.

My Emasculation.

I found a basketball court my first night here, much sooner than I expected too. There were quite a few guys here who play ball but I didn’t know how to articulate myself into a game. So that night I thought I would just watch and get an understanding about who this court works. Every basketball court has a different way running things, especially when dealing with international courts.

An hour into watching guys play I get a sharp poke in my lower back and there were 5 old heavily inebriated Korean gentleman with an average height of 4’5. One of the guys spoke English well enough where I could tell him what I was doing, where I was from, etc. Once I said I was American and that I play ball. All hell broke loose...

4 of the 5 guys stepped onto a game already in progress and started yelling at the players in Korean and began pointing at me. The 5th guy grabbed my hand forcibly and yanked me onto the court and told me to play. He stood there in the middle of the court with my hand firmly in his ordering the Koreans ballers to allow to me play.

The guys who were in the middle of a game looked at me like I was an asshole…as if I organized this hostile take over. I tried to plead with the drunk let the players finish so I could get next game but the guy holding my hand would NOT let me leave nor would he let go of my hand. He was soo strong, I couldn’t break his hold. I felt like big baby trying to plead with this little drunk guy while he was holding my hand...
Seeing as there seemed to be no other way out of this, I asked who wanted to play with me and we made teams. My first day I played horribly, a combination of a 14 hour flight, jet lag, and the usual aches and pains, kept me from being the force that I usually am. ;) It didn't help that the old guys turned into the loudest, rowdiest audience anyone could ask for. Every brick (missed shot) and turnover was met with hostility and laughter, and I knew they were making fun. They were a kin to those old guys in the Muppet Movies except they spoke Korean and were smaller.
overall though it was fun, I lost my first game and the guys got their court back. I continued to play for the next 2 hours or so and I left. I said good-bye to my ‘fans,’ and I went home.
The next week or so, those drunks are still there and still super fans of mine, but they keep calling me Obama…which has become my official nickname on that basketball court….
3 months since that day, those guys I played ball with that first time are some of my closest friends. (Pictured from the left: Leo, Jin Bam, Sung Yung)


Basketball is my constant, it keeps me social, vibrant, laughing, and happy no matter where in the world I am...